Once, I peered over my mum’s shoulder and wondered what was going on in front of me. It was often an eerily familiar sight of people moving around with great entropy in the famous Lagos Island market. I was just 3 or 5. I don’t know. My memory is murky nowadays.
My mother is a very physically active woman and took long strides when we walked. She moved with the urgency of a trauma surgeon and raced through the walkways as we made for her shop. She distributed cigarettes, sweets, biscuits and the likes on a wholesale scale to merchants who came in from as far as the Benin Republic! The journey from home to her shop averaged between 20 and 40 minutes in the 90s (Don’t tell Sanwó-Olu this part) but we had to make a 10-minute walk from the bus stop to her shop every day. It was often a bit of a pickle to walk through the maze of people who are always in a hurry, considering how poorly demarcated the market area was. Trust my mum to know all the shortcuts though. I only ever visited during the long holidays at school, and I mostly sat around observing the activities in front of me. I was saved from any serious work or activity because I was a frail little boy.
Back to the cause of my intrigue, the sheer number of people making haphazard and sometimes, downright crazy dashes across all directions as they sought to make their daily bread (sometimes literally because there was indeed a bakery around the corner), and the number of people who still take a second to make funny faces at babies was interesting to me. I wonder where they all are now and what their motivations were. Those poor but good people.
When I was a teenager, an oft-repeated saying or proverb was:
“No one knows the origin of the water in the coconut”
I was concerned, but lazy. How come nobody has ever wondered or sought to find out why this happens! I am sure you have also heard or wondered about this phenomenon but certainly never bothered to ask why either. I only ever pondered over this mystery at spells, never bothering to find out why that was the case. I found out why Antarctica is considered a desert though.
A few weeks ago, someone on the radio requested a song from the past. When Alhaji Haruna Ishola sang his melodious tunes (probably from the 70s) in that imperious and joyous voice, I moved my head from side to side. When he repeated that same proverb, I knew that the day had come. The hour was indeed upon us, or at least upon me. I had to take this challenge to save all mankind and our neighbours. Turns out that people – lots of them, already know why there’s water in the coconut!
Here’s the big reveal from the topic of this blog post in case you were wondering:
I am indeed currently single.
Why? Because I haven’t found the right one.
Who is the right one? Is this an unending search for love and the perfect qualities in the one I should love or the infusion of the prevalent ideologies of whom the special one should be by societal standards? Why am I worried about selecting (or at least shooting) at a mate for the most basic function of all life? (Yes, even bread mould replicates its cells. Salmons? They goddamn do the same). Why are we intent to make new copies of us, take fine pictures and post them on social media? Why are we here on earth in the first place? When do we make contact with aliens and go to Earth 2.0?
So I’m on the way to finding me the right one
who has a moderate to big soft yansh, a fat bank account, preferably a blue passport, a progressive thinker and one who is also wholly interested and in love with me.